My, my, so much to do. Electronegativity, valence electrons, electron dot structures, the octet rule, the Great Depression, the dust bowl, Hoovervilles, parabolic equation factoring, present-tense verb conjugations, non-linear action editors, and three-point diffuse lighting... My head is positively swimming! I always feel good after finishing a good chunk of homework, but it's always late at night when I've finished and so I lose sleep and don't feel good the next morning. I really need to get this daily schedule thing reworked so that I get enough sleep
and stay caught up on my work. So far it's been a choice of one or the other. Some days I choose one, some days I choose the other. Perhaps I'm being greedy, but I want
both! (Wow, I just noticed how much that word sticks out from the rest of the text. In fact, I bet you will notice that word before you even begin reading this entry.) Hmm, again I am addressing the fact that someone will be reading this. I've read that in the world of comic strips, you're not supposed to address the fact that the characters are in a comic strip because it detracts from the believability of the story. The reader doesn't need to be reminded that what they are reading isn't real. Not that what I write is fiction. I just wonder whether or not I ought to address you as an audience to my personal thoughts. I think perhaps it detracts from my honesty and unfiltered genuineness of what is written here to remember that someone may be reading this. Or perhaps it's the fact that it's someone I know that will read this. I'm okay with people knowing my thoughts as long as I don't know who the people are. But then again, perhaps it is wise to take care in what one posts, regardless of who does or doesn't read it, because this is, after all, the internet, an inherently dangerous place. One should never forget that.
On another subject, I've addressed the purpose of this blog on a couple earlier occasions and I think for now it shall remain a blog of thoughts. Next summer, I will begin my daily sketch routine and will thus start building a portfolio of my progress as an artist. Sometimes I'm not sure whether or not I should even be pursuing this... I don't always have the time. But I think that, like music, this is one of my dreams that I actually have access to. One of the opportunities that is within my reach. I've wanted to be an actor. I've wanted to be a dancer. I've wanted to be a gymnast. I've wanted to be an author. I've wanted to be unusually ahead in school. But none of those dreams have any real substance to them, and by that I don't mean they're not possible. I simply mean that I either don't have the resources, or the ability, or the true will to accomplish them. However, in this case, I believe I have all three. I don't want art to become my main profession, though my current vocational interest can include art. I want to paint as an outlet for expression, like I play the piano. When I play the piano, I don't read music. In fact, I can't read music. I've forgotten how. (Perhaps this isn't totally true, but for all practical applications, it is.) I simply play how I feel. If I'm sad, I'll play sad. If I'm happy, I'll play happy. If I'm excited, I'll play excited. If I'm angry, I'll play angry. Some emotions that are imperceptible and withdrawn from my visible personality may even be expressed, such as attitude. Swagger. I find release and solace in creating this music. It's comfortable. I'd like to develop this seeming effortlessness in my artistic skills, specifically in painting. Though I probably shan't use it for the same outlet of emotion, rather, I'd use it for the creation of emotion. The sight of a certain kind of environment, lighting, or situation can evoke a sense of peacefulness. Cheerfulness. It is this that I wish to capture. A bright autumn forest, with a stream and a frog and a mushroom and a boy reading a book. Lots of greens and yellows. The vibrant lifecolor of chlorophyll and the warmth of sunlight. Yes, I realize that it takes years of work and practice to achieve this skillfully and effortlessly, but it is one goal I do not wish to let go so easily as unattainable.
I suppose now that I have just stated my challenge. And now you have read it. And now I have an obligation to fill. Accountability is potent motivation. I have already begun irregular training. Hopefully I will have something you'd actually like to see by the time I begin my exercises next summer...
