Swimming...

My, my, so much to do. Electronegativity, valence electrons, electron dot structures, the octet rule, the Great Depression, the dust bowl, Hoovervilles, parabolic equation factoring, present-tense verb conjugations, non-linear action editors, and three-point diffuse lighting... My head is positively swimming! I always feel good after finishing a good chunk of homework, but it's always late at night when I've finished and so I lose sleep and don't feel good the next morning. I really need to get this daily schedule thing reworked so that I get enough sleep and stay caught up on my work. So far it's been a choice of one or the other. Some days I choose one, some days I choose the other. Perhaps I'm being greedy, but I want both! (Wow, I just noticed how much that word sticks out from the rest of the text. In fact, I bet you will notice that word before you even begin reading this entry.) Hmm, again I am addressing the fact that someone will be reading this. I've read that in the world of comic strips, you're not supposed to address the fact that the characters are in a comic strip because it detracts from the believability of the story. The reader doesn't need to be reminded that what they are reading isn't real. Not that what I write is fiction. I just wonder whether or not I ought to address you as an audience to my personal thoughts. I think perhaps it detracts from my honesty and unfiltered genuineness of what is written here to remember that someone may be reading this. Or perhaps it's the fact that it's someone I know that will read this. I'm okay with people knowing my thoughts as long as I don't know who the people are. But then again, perhaps it is wise to take care in what one posts, regardless of who does or doesn't read it, because this is, after all, the internet, an inherently dangerous place. One should never forget that.
On another subject, I've addressed the purpose of this blog on a couple earlier occasions and I think for now it shall remain a blog of thoughts. Next summer, I will begin my daily sketch routine and will thus start building a portfolio of my progress as an artist. Sometimes I'm not sure whether or not I should even be pursuing this... I don't always have the time. But I think that, like music, this is one of my dreams that I actually have access to. One of the opportunities that is within my reach. I've wanted to be an actor. I've wanted to be a dancer. I've wanted to be a gymnast. I've wanted to be an author. I've wanted to be unusually ahead in school. But none of those dreams have any real substance to them, and by that I don't mean they're not possible. I simply mean that I either don't have the resources, or the ability, or the true will to accomplish them. However, in this case, I believe I have all three. I don't want art to become my main profession, though my current vocational interest can include art. I want to paint as an outlet for expression, like I play the piano. When I play the piano, I don't read music. In fact, I can't read music. I've forgotten how. (Perhaps this isn't totally true, but for all practical applications, it is.) I simply play how I feel. If I'm sad, I'll play sad. If I'm happy, I'll play happy. If I'm excited, I'll play excited. If I'm angry, I'll play angry. Some emotions that are imperceptible and withdrawn from my visible personality may even be expressed, such as attitude. Swagger. I find release and solace in creating this music. It's comfortable. I'd like to develop this seeming effortlessness in my artistic skills, specifically in painting. Though I probably shan't use it for the same outlet of emotion, rather, I'd use it for the creation of emotion. The sight of a certain kind of environment, lighting, or situation can evoke a sense of peacefulness. Cheerfulness. It is this that I wish to capture. A bright autumn forest, with a stream and a frog and a mushroom and a boy reading a book. Lots of greens and yellows. The vibrant lifecolor of chlorophyll and the warmth of sunlight. Yes, I realize that it takes years of work and practice to achieve this skillfully and effortlessly, but it is one goal I do not wish to let go so easily as unattainable.
I suppose now that I have just stated my challenge. And now you have read it. And now I have an obligation to fill. Accountability is potent motivation. I have already begun irregular training. Hopefully I will have something you'd actually like to see by the time I begin my exercises next summer...

Pain...

Sometimes I wish I could carry the pain of my friends for them... and then sometimes, I wish someone would take my pain away...

Holiday

I love holidays. I think everyone does. (At least, I would hope so...) However, holidays do have their downsides. There are things that one enjoys about a regular day that one misses when the holidays come around. Yes, I realize it sounds as though I am focusing on the negatives and am being ungrateful for the positives. I don't mean to. I really do love the holidays. However, I do miss being around some people that I'm used to being around every day... ... but perhaps I'm being ridiculous. Time off from school is great. =) I get to paint and draw more often. My projects, however, have ground to a standstill. I need to get those going again. Can't afford to lose time!

Vacation...

Yay! Tomorrow is a half-day, and then it's Thanksgiving Vacation! x) I am happy... Not that this will mean any less work, of course. At least, it shouldn't. It probably will, but it shouldn't. I have projects to complete. But it will be nice to catch up on things and relax for a bit. (Though it feels a little bit too soon because I just returned from a pseudo-vacation from California, but I only missed a day of school so it wasn't a "real" vacation. x)
I've taken up drawing again. Well, to be more precise: I've taken up drawing regularly again. Every evening, before bed. Draw something. Anything. Last night I was quite happy with my results. It wasn't anything amazing, just a little cartoon robot, but it looked better than a lot of drawings I had done lately. I find that it helps to look through various artists' blogs before drawing. It helps me get ideas. I really wish I had a faster internet connection so I could start posting my art... but alas.
I've been rethinking my List. My Priorities List. Rather: my "what-i-want-to-learn/hobbies/skills-i-want-to-keep" list. I love music. I love art. I play the piano and the French horn and the guitar. I want to play the duduk, the cello, the uilleann pipes, and the Irish flute. I draw and model in 3d. I want to both improve those skills, and learn to paint. So many things. I can't do them all. Which will I pursue? Which will I leave?

Another Proverb...

Some things cannot be taught... only learned.

(I think I'm going to start separating my content into labels... Art (when I get some posted), Proverbs, and.... what should the last one be? the one where I put everything else... anyone got any ideas? post your ideas in the comments...)

Proverbs...

Well! This blog is called Proverbs & Jellybeans and so I thought it ought to have some proverbs.

The depth of modern knowledge did not come about by every man inventing a wheel.

Strongest is love learned.

The future is a mystery. Is it an ominous, looming shadow, or a great secret waiting to be told? It is as we make it.

I don't particularly like the detached, unrelated nature of this collection of proverbs, but considering the fact that I only have three, I can't exactly complain. Perhaps I shall find others...

Tail...

So many questions for heaven... today's question is: why did You make me without a tail?

Late...

Staying up late is only half the time intentional for me. The other half of the time, I'm doing something that I am completely focused on and totally lose track of time. Art is something that will do this to me. I think it has to do with what side of my brain I am primarily using. I read about it one time. The left side of the brain is thought to be the logical and calculating side, while the right side is the expressive and artistic side. So when an artist gets "in the zone," he or she literally goes into that side of their mind and that's where the majority of the brain activity is. But guess what side of the brain keeps track of time... yes, the left side. So when I switch to right-brain mode, I have no consciousness of the passage of time. Wonderful the details and quirks of God's creation, aren't they? Now I shall utilize another of His wonderful gifts: sleep. Goodnight!

Comments...

I just realized that I had "comments" turned off on this blog... =P rather: I just realized that I have 97 views on the blog so someone must actually be reading it, therefore I checked to make sure you could comment if you wish and realized that you could not. So! I've now enabled it and now you can tell me what a horrid writer I am! x) I think I'll try and post some art and music here if I can figure out how and then you can tell me what a horrid musician and artist I am too! =D
(For those of you who would give me a lecture of apparently insulting my work, I'm not actually insulting my work, only saying that I expect insults to my work because I set the comment settings to "anyone" so any random idiot can post their rude comments here... =P I may turn it off if I really do get any rude comments... I just don't know who is reading the blog so I didn't want the setting to say "only people with blogger accounts" or whatever just in case they don't have a blogger account and wanted to say something...)
My, my, I am so wordy today. This is probably because I am happy. Why am I happy? Because life is good! Life is hard, but life is good. God has blessed me with so many things and such wonderful friends...