Is It Right? ...

Inspiration is a funny thing. It makes you want to do something. It gives you the ideas on how exactly to do something and makes you willing to give what it takes to accomplish it. But the thing is, it doesn't make it the correct thing to do. Inspiration is largely an emotional response and is thus prone to error, whether in the wanting or in the planning. So this is what I have been wondering...

My career choice is architecture. That is what I plan on doing with the majority of my working life. That's fine, that is probably what I shall do. But I want to do music too. Okay, that is okay too, a guy is entitled to a hobby or two. But I don't just want to write music for fun. I want to put on a show. Every time I go to a concert and see the polished product of fine musicianship and engineering, I get this feeling like, "I want to do that..." 

Perhaps it is overly-presumptuous to even think I have the ability and the slightest chance at that, but my self-confidence wasn't my purpose in this discourse. My question is: "Is it right for me to want that?" Being a Christian, it is my belief that God gave me the skills and talents that I have. Some Christians believe that means it is wrong to put on a show with them because it is "taking credit" for them as though it is our own accomplishment, thus downplaying God's role in it. Others believe glory can be given to God in their performance, and they make sure He receives the credit He deserves. (I am speaking, in this case, about generic, non-religious music. Leading praise music or doing a "Christian concert" is another matter entirely.)

So which is it? Is wanting to stand on a stage and perform wrong? Is it contrary to a Christ-like attitude to want to be famous? Ouch, perhaps it is. Though it could be argued that His purpose actually was to be famous, it just wasn't for self-serving purposes. So the attitude with which I go about it plays a huge role. Is it wrong, then, to enjoy being onstage? As a musician, I have spent a fair amount of time being onstage and have lost much of the stress and nervousness that one initially feels when first stepping into the focus of attention of any group of people.

I love making music, I love sharing emotions. That's what music is: sharing emotions. I share thoughts and ideas by writing, like I am doing now. I can evoke emotion in writing too, but music seems to lend itself to that so much more easily. (Just as music can communicate factual information as well, but writing is far more effective, I think.)

So if I go onstage with truly the sole desire of wanting to share the art form I love and have been given to work with for the enjoyment and betterment of others, that is right? But music manipulates emotion, that is how it works. So in actuality, I love to manipulate people's emotions. A good musician is a good manipulator. That makes it sound bad, doesn't it? I want to go up there and wield this power over my audience. Then again, it isn't wrong to have power or influence, it just means greater responsibility.

I think the answer to my question is in what I said before about how Jesus went about His life's work. It was unselfish. It was awesome, it was powerful, at times it was quite a show (I do not use this term to describe a lack of sincerity, only the extraordinary nature of His actions, specifically His miracles). But it was for the love of people, and the love of helping them.

If my purpose is to write music because I love it and to share it with people because I love them, then that is right.

P.S. I am still planning on being an architect. ;)
(edit) P.P.S. I changed that plan... now I'm going to be an Industrial Designer! =)

The Year...

Well this  school year has been quite a year... Which is to say: it has been nearly a complete school year. x) I am frantically trying to get my life together before the transition into the summer and my summer job. Unfortunately, recent events have added to the list of things to do. My car window was smashed in two weekends ago whilst I was away on a high school campout. Then last weekend, while I performed with the school's band and choir at a church, my laptop computer, cell phone, wallet, and miscellaneous hardware were stolen out of my backpack. Thankfully, most of the messes have been taken care of, but I still have to get a replacement driver's license and computer. More money. Woo. <=P

So now all of my personal projects have ground to a halt and I'm focusing on the important stuff now... Sort of. ;) I REALLY want to start making YouTube videos more regularly, but I can't without a computer! And it's really hard to film video blogs when there are other people around. I'm the type of person that doesn't even like talking on the phone when there are other people in the room! Hopefully I'll be able to do a bit more when I'm at university. Ah, speaking of which, my dorm roommate has been confirmed, and I am rooming with an old music friend I met a few years ago. I am quite excited as he and I have always seemed to have got along well and have similar interests. I am sure he will be more understanding of my merely hobbies than any of my family. It's a plan then! =) I'd also like to get back into making stuff in Blender and writing more music, but I suppose I can't do it all. I'll just have to decide what stuff to do regularly and what stuff to do as filler. This blog, for example, definitely needs to be on the "regular" list, which it shall be and is, sort of. Now that I can post stuff from my iPod whenever I've got a wi-fi connection, I should be able to post stuff more easily. Oh, I also have made a Twitter account! We'll see how that goes. Twitter seems to be geared more towards a more constant stream of ideas and comments in shorter form. I don't know. Are blogs supposed to be a weekly thing like my YouTube accounts? And Twitter is the everyday posts thing? And what about Facebook? No, forget Facebook. =P I am happy to read other people's stuff and post once in awhile when I've really got something to say, but for the most part, Facebook is an extra thing.

Hmm, time to finish some Street Law notes and then hit the hay, I am so tired.